Let me tell you about myself. I don’t use social media most of the time. I rarely scroll, may watch YouTube if any of the YouTubers I like uploaded a new video, and I play games that are not online—more puzzle-like games—and that’s the purpose of my phone.
I know that the purpose of phones is to be able to communicate, but I like to talk to people face to face; I like seeing people’s expressions when talking to them and hearing their voices, and phones take that away. I know that there are voice and video calls. I do them sometimes, but still, unless necessary, you won’t hear from me; even if someone messaged me first, I might not respond quickly, and sometimes I won’t at all. I may have seen the message and forgot to respond, and I might not have seen it all. Maybe I didn’t have the energy to respond that day, and I’d be like, “I’ll respond later on,” and here is the problem: I might remember a week or two from that, and that just feels too late now and months go by this way, and the guilt of not responding every time kills me. Now I feel like I am a terrible e person and a toxic friend, which I truly believe because when I meet that person, I won’t be telling them all of that: I’ll say, “I’m sorry I completely forgot to respond, ” which is more like gaslighting. I’ll continue making excuses most of the time sometimes lies, sometimes true, depending on the situation that I’m in. It’s not that my friends or family don’t know that they know that I don’t respond to my phone because I’m not on my phone all the time.
Most of the time, I don’t know where my phone is because I believe it takes things from my life that I can never get back. The small moments that happen all around us all the time: a little flower growing somewhere that usually doesn’t, a new building in the neighbourhood, a group of kids playing innocently around you while you are walking down the street, going to the park to read a book or take your little sibling or your friend with you, the voice of the birds early in the morning, noticing that my little sister did something new today that she didn’t have to tell me about, talking to someone face to face, drinking your coffee without doing anything just drinking your coffee, trying a new recipe, not rushing your brain to function the minute you wake up, buying yourself a new cup, getting ice cream after a long day, showering after getting back home, and changing to your pjamas. There are many things that phones take away from us, and we don’t even notice it. I believe that the small things are the things that bring joy to our day, and they are the things that lead to bigger things.
To make it clear, I’m not happy with what I’m doing; I’m just saying I’m bad at using my phone. I am great with people I see regularly at Family gatherings: I was at school. I am not an extrovert am an introvert. Could that be the reason why? I don’t know. Maybe I’m not meant to use my phone the way others do. I like to meet people outside or in my house. The place doesn’t really matter; just the fact that we are together, talking, dancing, playing, doing whatever, just not on the phone taking pictures of everything to the point that we don’t enjoy what we are doing. Maybe, it is because I lived in a community where everyone was close by, So there was no need for phones; they were only for the ones far away, so whenever I felt bored, I could go to my aunt’s house, and I get back when I’m done or before dinner. When my friend is bored, she’ll come to my house, as simple as that, no need to ask or anything; all the houses are open to each other. Everyone was at his home at dinner time; it was a completely safe neighbourhood. I used to have activities in the afternoon, and even that was in the neigbourhood, so I’d go with my friends and back with them, we’d meet afterwards to play outside. Sometimes, I think this is why I’m that bad at using my phone it’s the way how I grew up, but I’m trying to fix it.
I do believe that phones took a lot of things from us. I’m not saying that it has not helped us. It did in many ways, but it destroyed in other ways. So, can we romanticise our life again without phones? It’s nice to have memories to look at later on down the road, but not everything: the coffee you drink daily, walking down the street, and pictures of every outfit you wear. Then how will it be special when you take a picture for a special event? Let me tell you nothing because you did it daily; that takes the life out of everything you do because nothing is unique; you are living to take pictures to look at down the road. What about living in the moment?
I’m not an old lady who just learnt to use the phone. I was born in the 2000s, meaning I’m used to being around it and am already sick of it. But I can’t get rid of it because everything is done by it nowadays, which in a lot of ways is great, but let us differentiate between the actual need for it and overusing it.
Let me clarify: phones made our lives easier in many ways, and I’m thankful for that. I don’t like that our world revolves around it nowadays, and me not using it properly. That is it. I’m not against anyone, and anyone could disagree with me, which is fine; everyone has his own beliefs, and not everyone is raised the same way.
See you in the next one. I hope that you have a great time anywhere and everywhere you go!